Azhagu serial - Magesh - Poorna fan fiction - Episode 19 - 03/09/2018

They say between love and hate there is only a thin line. Sometimes that thin line may become cloudy and make you blind to the boundaries. You no longer know the difference whether it is love or hate, no longer know the difference whether it is good or bad, no longer know the difference whether it is moral or immoral, right or wrong. But what you may have perceived as right may be perceived as wrong by someone, what you have perceived as love may appear to be hateful to someone else. And in the quest of understanding the difference between one or other, we may inadvertently become truth seekers. We want to know how could it happen, why did it happen, etc. Because often, if not always, we can accept even something horrible if we know why did it happen. If we know the reason, we can make sense of a betrayal, loss, love or hate, we can make sense of our feelings. So it is not always the action that makes us sad, but it is not knowing the reason behind that action more than the action. This is why they say unknowing is more painful. Lets just put ourselves in the shoes of someone who lost a husband or wife or a child or a lover, friend, someone close to our heart, in the Malaysian flight 370 which disappeared out of the blue. Can you imagine their pain of not knowing what happened to their loved one? If the flight had crashed and if they retrieved the body of their loved one, it would have still been painful, but they would have accepted it as the fate eventually and have had some kind of closure. But not knowing what happened will make you go mad, your everyday life will become hell wondering if they are alive or dead, if they are suffering or doing well. This is between life and death. And love is the backbone of life and the pain of love is no less than the said scenario. You want to know why someone walked away from you without any explanation, you want to know why someone cheated on you, you want to know why your loved one hurts you. We all deal with the hurt in different way. We all are unique in God's creation. We don't have an universal law to say this is how you should behave, this is how you should accept your fate, this is how you should accept your grievance and so on. 

Poorna is an unique personality like everyone of us. She tried her best to make sense of what had happened to her, by hurting Ravi and Sudha, she thought that they will show some kind of remorse or give explanation through which she can eventually heal. But what she failed, even many of us in life, to know is that we don't always have to know how or why. Only time and God know the answer for lot of things. The best we can do is to believe that the time will heal our wounds and keep living our life as happy as possible. But fortunately for Poorna, although she was not intending to lead a happy life with Mahesh, God showed her the glimpse of what kind of life she can have with Mahesh if she let the time to take care of the betrayal done by Ravi and Sudha. Unintentionally Poorna fell for Mahesh.  Poorna no longer could see the line between between love and hate, moral and immoral, right and wrong, it all become blurry and cloudy for her. Thankfully though, for her, it didn't matter for the time being. She felt like a princess being carried by Mahesh from Earth to Moon. 

One of my favorite song is "Aarum athu aazham illa...." despite for a different reason than the song was intended for. It is true, nothing is as deep or mysterious as a woman's heart. Even she wouldn't understand her own feelings most of the time. So it is no wonder Poorna although felt happy with Mahesh, started to wonder sometimes why she fell for him, how could she let these things happen between her and Mahesh. This time she wanted to know why, because she doesn't want to lose it as she lost Ravi's love. For that, she has to understand her own feelings and Mahesh's stand as well. And she thought her analysis can wait for some time and lets enjoy the bliss of Mahesh's love and attention for a while. Even after Mahesh went back to Kodaikanal, Poorna has been reminiscing their moments and needless to say, often blushing, doing weird little things without any reason. She was standing in the mottai maadi and was reading a text Mahesh sent, biting her chain, blushing. As if Mahesh had seen her blushing, he called her immediately. She was surprised and tried her best to control her feelings and tried to talk to him without showing her feelings. But she couldn't hide her blushing. Sudha came upstairs to hang the wet clothes to dry. She saw Poorna talking to Mahesh and blushing. Poorna paused for few seconds, Sudha left the basket there and left soon with a smile not to disturb Mahesh and Poorna. After few minutes, Poorna finished the call and came running downstairs happily singing and there was Ravi standing who had overheard Mahesh-Poorna conversation on the other side without getting Sudha's attention. Poorna and Ravi came opposite to each other and Poorna witnessed the fury of Ravi through his hate filled eyes.