Azhagu serial - Magesh - Poorna fan fiction - Magesh's inner thoughts - Episode 3 - 21/07/2018

Magesh and Pazhanisamy return back from Vasantha's home to their home. Azhagammai asks "Vasantha epdi irukka?". "Nalla irukka" says Pazhanisamy. "Vasantha-va discharge panni kootitu varum pothu naanum kooda irunthu paathukanunu enakkum aasai thaan, aana ennai paathu thirumba ava tension aaga vendannu thaan varala, athu sari Poorna avaluku thunaiya irukenu sollitaala?". "Amam" says Pazhanisamy sitting in the sofa looking so tired. "Irunga ungaluku kudikka yedhavathu eduthutu varen". Azhagu brings some juice for Pazhanisamy. Magesh with an absent mind is getting on the stairs to go his room. Azhagu stops him and questions him "Magesh unakkum yedhavathu eduthutu varen, saptutu poda". "Illa ma, enakku onnum vendam". "Yen da, neeyum Poorna kooda thunaikku irunthirukalame?". Magesh looks at Pazhanisamy and Azhagu also looks at him. "Azhagu, avane tired a irukaan, avan poi konjam rest edukattum vidu". Magesh walked fast upstairs to avoid further questioning by Azhagu. Since Magesh graduated, the clock revolved only for himself. He had all the time for himself. To chat away on the mobile, to do whatever he likes, sometimes worried about being jobless, sometimes happy with family, being busy with Aishu's marriage and the drama surrounded by it, whatever it was, happy, excited, worried or bored, he had all the time in the world just for himself. 

His life turned upside down since this marriage. What was supposed to be his brother's marriage turned out to be his. He went into the room, refreshed himself in the attached bathroom in his room, came back, turned on the AC and glugged a jug of water which was placed on his bed side, lied flat on his bed. Coming back to his train of thoughts, yes, since the marriage, he didn't have a minute to realize what was happening in his life. Everything happened so quick. All the trauma and drama didn't just make him sad or confused, instead it just numbed him. He had to go with the flow to save the family's prestige. He didn't even have time to think about his chat girlfriend. He was thinking to himself "How did I not think about her?, well how could I? It is not that I forgot her, it is just that I didn't have time to think about anything else. But why am I not feeling sad for not chatting with her? Why am I not missing her? There was a time when I can't stay away from chatting with her. But it looks like I used the chatting as an escape from facing the real life problems, the real problems of being a grown up and jobless at the same time. But when life pushed me to the edge through this marriage, I picked up myself and started to run with it. Strangely I feel so alive ever so now, I feel like I too have a purpose. 

Poorna never used to cross my mind before this marriage, she was just part of a family, I didn't think much about her, I was indifferent to her. But after this marriage, I've been promising her and my dad that I'll support her wholeheartedly and I'll be there for her till my last breath. What makes me so committed to her? Because I tied a thread around her neck? That I respect the concept of marriage? Or because I'm loyal to my dad and to his wishes? Or because I want to prove my worth to my dad? Do I like her? Why?" Magesh lying down in his bed finally having his own peaceful time went through all these questions and answers. But at the last question, he got stuck. He couldn't exactly put his finger on why he is committed to Poorna and her well being. One thing he is wise enough to know is that just because someone gets married doesn't mean a switch will be turned on automatically to love that person unconditionally, albeit that is how most Indians think how marriage works. "Well lets come to my marriage with Poorna. Why I care for her? I know I want peace above everything else in my family and that can be achieved only when Poorna's anger cools down, so that could be a reason why I try to care for her, but there is something else that I don't know of. I can't see her angry or hurt. And I don't know where this caring nature comes for her when I didn't think much about her before this marriage." Magesh with all these thoughts went to sleep peacefully. He will soon find some pieces of his puzzle why he cares for Poorna. But will it do him good or will bring more pain? Love never gives birth to happiness without pain. We will see if Magesh will reach the happiness through all the pain or the pieces he finds for his puzzle will stay as a painful realization for his whole life?